Monday, February 28, 2011

Liar, Liar

















Why do people lie? To conceal wrongdoing? Because a child may not know the difference between what's fantasy and what's real? To avoid consequences? Because one gets a sense of power from it? To maintain self-esteem? 

There are SO many reasons! But before you judge, before you make some blanket moral comments about the issue, read on.

During my studies (in psychology, child development), and from my experience in working with people who have committed serious crimes, I've come to know a great deal about Lying. 

Children who are under the age of five don't really know the difference between what's real and what's fantasy. They like "telling stories". They also lie to get the approval of other people. After age four or five, kids do it to avoid unpleasant consequences. They don't want to get into trouble, so a kid may blame someone else for something he/she did. Piaget identified childhood lying as just a part of a child's being egocentric. We must also consider that children are not capable of determining that lying is a moral issue. It's not part of the cognitive or social development at that age.

By the time a child hits eight or nine, he/she is fully aware of the wrongfulness of lying. The kid may still be untruthful for some of the same reasons, but does understand the morality of it. As children develop the ability for more abstract thought and reasoning, the lies become more crafty. For example, a young person may use more cognitive distortions (minimizing, vagueness, omission, and hopping over). Sociopathic liars enjoy it because it's like a power-play game; he/she feels a sense of power over others who are stuck trying to figure things out.

So how can you tell if someone is lying? I generally pay attention to how much a person talks when I ask a question. My philosophy has always been answer my question and shut up (if you don't want to look deceptive). People who ramble, in my opinion, are "hopping over" the facts and saying things to "muddy the water". I pay attention to words like, "maybe", "I guess", "perhaps", "just", "only", "to be honest with you", "the truth is". When dealing with kids (and many adults), I avoid "yes" and "no" questions as much as possible, because those types of questions encourage lying. "Susie, did you do your homework?" She immediately replies, "Yes". A better question/comment would be, "Susie, which of your assignments are you going to tackle first?" Or, "I'm ready to go over your homework with you. Meet me at the dining room table in n minutes."

I always pay attention to vagueness and omission of information. When kids tell me, "we were just hanging out", I'm suspicious of that. For teenagers, it's important to cover ALL bases. Be very specific with questions. I do this with lying, manipulative adults too. It almost becomes like an interrogation!

And what about all that stuff on body language, and facial expressions, and the direction a person looks when you ask a question? In my opinion, you really have to know the person well to gauge the truth from that. Polygraph testing? They're fine if the person is not a sociopath, or someone else who is capable of beating the test. I've met several people (some between age 17 and 20) who have beaten them. Geeze, knowing what I know, I don't think it would be difficult to beat one. 

So, the next time you think someone's lying, just play along! Don't get upset; the more you understand it, the better chances you have of eventually learning the truth. Consider it a mental chess match:):):):)

Ms. Erin


Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Social Butterfly, cont.

I probably should become more of a social butterfly; but then it wouldn't really be me. Everyone would think something was wrong because it's just not me. Now that I've been looking over all of these questions, I'm realizing that I may be more social than I once thought....

What is an example of "small talk" that I've made about the weather, or a current event?  Well we live in South Texas, so there's always something to say about our weather (allergens, floods, excessive heat, hurricanes, tornadoes, and of course today---90-degree weather in February). Just a few weeks ago, we had snow! There's a lot of casual conversation related to "weather talk".  Current events pop up all the time too; I'm trying to steer away from anything with a political angle.

Let's say I'm having a conversation with someone I hardly know. They keep touching my arm and putting their face/body close to mine. How do I react?  Oh my goodness! This is one of my pet peeves. I must have my personal space. I can't stand it when people crowd me or touch me when we're talking (especially people I hardly know).  Since I've been a resident of South Texas for may years, I've learned that it's rather customary for people to do a lot of  hugging, touching, etc. when in conversation. It's taken me many years to get used to it, but I still don't care for it too much. I know that others can be offended if I show any signs of distress when they approach me. Actually, I think people should just be respectful of others' personal space regardless of culture, etc.

What do I like to do in the evening with friends?  I like to do things like sit and chit-chat at a cafe or someplace with drinks. I also like it when I'm invited over to a friend's house and there's a small gathering.  

Who is a friend or relative that energizes me? who is one that drains me?  All of my friends are energetic in their own ways, so when we're together, I'm  excited to be with them.  I won't go out if I don't want to be out. The draining thing----very funny! I don't allow people to drain me anymore because I know how to set boundaries. I avoid contact with people that I believe will suck the life out of me!

What are the least desirable qualities to have in a friend?  Neediness is probably the biggest turn-off.  I also can't stand when friends use me as a therapist. I've had to discontinue a few relationships because of this type of thing. It's kind of like a doctor friend thst you keep getting medical advice from, or a lawyer that you keep bothering about your legal problems. Well, I'm a therapist, so I conduct therapy in my office when I'm being paid to work. If I'm with friends, I want to be supportive and listen, but I do not want to feel like I'm at work.

Are there times when I just need to be by myself? When? What do I do?  Being alone is the most precious thing in the world to me! A great vacation for me is to spend several days at home alone. What do I do? Mainly veg, watch movies, drink wine, meditate, work-out a little just to keep my circulation going. I do some texting and I consider answering my phone. Now I have 2 phones----one for private calls (few people have the number), and the other phone that I ignore if I'm on "vacation".

Ms. Erin

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Social Butterfly ?

Really, I'm not what anyone would call a Social Butterfly. Sometimes I wish I was, but most of the time, I like who I am. I could never see myself dancing on tables or singing karaoke.

How would others describe me, social, or non-social? Why?  Most people believe that I'm pretty social, probably because of what I do for a living. My friends know that I'm very shy in social situations. I'd say that I have some social anxiety, but when I need to get something accomplished (that requires social skills), I just get it done.

How do I think my friends  see me? Describe how I would like them to see me.  My friends see me as a shy, honest, determined,  fair, non-judgemental, loyal, trustworthy person. That's how I want them to see me. 

What are 4 helpful resources I use to find social places?  Primarily the Internet, friends, colleagues, and clients.

What if I want to be around people but don't want to talk? Are there places to go?  The movies! Actually, I only go around people when I plan to be social to some degree. I enjoy going to the movies alone, to be honest. I prefer not to be interrupted and I don't want to be trapped into going anyplace else afterward. (I hate riding with people or having people pick me up, because then I'm trapped/stuck with them. I can't leave when I want to).

Describe a PERFECT friend!  I think all of my very close friends are perfect. They're honest, loyal, trustworthy, and non-judgemental (of me). They're supportive and they will tell me what I need to hear (not what I want to hear).

Is it OK to be truthful in every social situation? Why or why not?  That's another one of those loaded questions. I believe in honesty. I'm an honest person. However, because of what I do for a living, I've learned that there are times when it's not a good idea to be "truthful" all the time. I know how to play semantics. What if saying something to someone can cause harm ?  That is not something I'll do, intentionally hurt someone. I use my best judgement. When I'm dealing with my friends, they expect for me to just tell it like it is!

Who can I call when I want to go out? Why that person?  There are a few people I can call (I won't list them).  I think about the activity I want to do, then I decide who I'm going to call. I think most people do that.

Ms. Erin


                                                                                                                                                         
   
                             

Friday, February 25, 2011

More Paths and More Pearls

According to the author, practicing forgiveness is a way to release old pain and free oneself. It allows a person to become more free to reach potential. It also means that one does not have a desire to punish anyone.                   
PEARLS OF WISDOM: THERE IS NO GREATER POWER THAN FORGIVENESS.

Nucleus

What relationships have challenged me in my life? Which have caused me pain? There have been several challenging relationships in the past and there are some that continue now. Of course there have been painful things that have occurred in relationships. A Blog is probably not the place to get too personal about such things. This whole topic will be sensitive. 

Can I think of anyone in my life who reflects parts of myself I don't care for? Can I find a way to view those attributes (in myself and in the other person) with respect and compassion?  I'm bothered sometimes when confronted by people who remind me of how "cold-hearted" I am. I'm sure that I minimize  my lack of sensitivity sometimes, but I have had situations where others tell me about it and that isn't pleasant to hear. Can I view that "attribute" with respect and compassion? No! It's not an attribute to be insensitive.

Layering

Have I ever worked through a difficult connection with someone and ultimately gained deeper respect for that person or even made friends?  Yes.

How have I worked to improve my relationships?  Over the years, I've made more effort to be more sensitive, more open, more empathetic, and not just related to my job as a therapist. I've come to understand that in reality, it's very selfish of me to isolate myself all the time. I have social contributions, and I must stop acting as if others are a bother and all of my time is "ME-time".

Which people in my life most define me?  My sister, Erika, definitely keeps me in check. She probably knows me better than anyone on the planet. We're not just sisters, we're friends. My other siblings (Caria, Keenan, and Javan), all help to balance me because we're soooooo different. Then I have a few very close friends who know me well and won't tell me what I want to hear (Rhonda, Janie, Brent, Marian, Mari). There are a few others, but I think these are the people who have had the most impact over the last several years.

Awareness and Beauty

What gifts have come to me as a result of my relationships?  I've developed patience, insight, and wisdom. I've also developed the precious gift of friendship which is priceless.

Have painful relationships also had loving elements or helped me grow in some way?  In painful relationships there has also been loving elements. I've chosen to remember the pleasant, loving aspects of those relationships rather than focusing on the negative. What's the point?

Friends and associates add luster to our lives. What can I change when I feel my luster is dull?  When the luster dulls for me, I do want to be uplifted by my friends and siblings. Many times I'm so closed off, I don't say anything, so none of them have any idea that I'm "suffereing". I can improve things if I would just speak up, ask for help, and accept the love/support.

  Ms. Erin 

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Conversation pieces...continued

What are 3 topics I try to avoid discussing with people?  Definitely politics and religion. Of course, I'm drawn into it sometimes and I don't back down from my opinions. However, I want for others to have opinions too and I want to be respectful. I don't want for there to be any 'rights or wrongs'.  I used to argue and try to be right. I don't care anymore. I just know what's right for me. There are other topics that are debatable; however, I feel fortunate that as an educated person who has experienced  a great deal of life, I'm pretty credible when it comes to some topics. I simply base my reasoning on facts and logic.

What is the importance of an apology? How would I be able to apologize in a way that satisfies someone, AND allow myself to feel OK about it?  Very important! Of course, I'm going to make reference to a book I read, The Five Languages of Apology.  You have to know the other person and what his/her expectations before an apology is offered. For example, you have to know if the person wants you to repent, or if he/she wants restitution, or wants you to just accept responsibility for your actions. You have to know yourself too; I know that I'm capable of offering any kind of apology and being genuine about it. But, I know that I have a hard time admitting that I did anything wrong, so the 'accepting responsibility apology' is not one that would be OK with me.                 
               

 



What is my opinion of people using alcohol or other substances to increase their social ability?  If that's what it takes!  I mean, we use the term 'social drinking', and 'recreational drugs'.  That's what society has been doing from the beginning of time.

Who is someone I really enjoy talking to? What is it about his/her conversations that I like?  It just cracks me up to talk to my friend Brent! He just says whatever's on his mind. And since I do too, the conversations are just plain raw and hilarious!

What are 3 affordable places to go with a friend?  I love Starbucks (my number one place).  I like a bunch of places in the Quarry and at Northstar: Stonewerks, La Madeleine, Papouli's Greek Grill,  Canyon Cafe, Cheesecake Factory. Those are the casual eating places. There are hiking trails too; my favorite one is at Eisenhower Park. Then ther's wine tasting, JS Fine Wines on Saturdays.

What do I do that offends people?  Probably  (A) wanting to be left alone when others want to be social, (B) being too blunt, or (C) not being very open with people.  So sue me:)

And to all a good night....Ms. Erin

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Introspections of a Psychotherapist

My self-reflection "stuff" for today.


What is one social activity I've always wanted to try and haven't? I've always wanted to sing in a night club and I've always wanted to be a good public speaker. The night club thing more than anything.

Who do I relate to better, men or women? Why do I think that is? I relate socially to men better because we think alike. Men tend to be less emotional, more analytical and use more logic and reasoning. I do also. I enjoy having male friends. It's more comfortable to me. I have female friends too, but with women, I have to worry about sensitivity and hurting feelings.  With guys I can relax, we can all say what we want and no one gets any feelings hurt.

What usually gets me in trouble in social situations? Not talking at all, or being too blunt. I many times say exactly what's on my mind when someone does something that could have used a little more gray matter.

What does being tactful mean? Is it important to me? Why or why not?  Tactfulness is showing some sensitivity and restraint in what is being said. Sometimes I think it's important. Most of the time it is. However, there are times when the last thing a person needs is tact, and I have no problem seeing to it that they don't get any.  

Where is a place that I would never go to meet new people?  I've met people at a lot of places and I'd have to say that my least favorite place two places are clubs and church. In both of those arenas, people have agendas and you're not seeing who they really are (most of the time, from my experience). I like meeting people in more natural environments (groups) when they're not putting on a show for the purpose of meeting an agenda.

What is a good way to start and end a conversation?  That depends on the situation. I usually like to talk about something very light-hearted, or find a common interest. To end the conversation, I usually make it clear with body language that I'm done talking. I guess I could be more sensitive. I'm working on it. With all the texting, emailing, etc. I guess I don't end conversations well then either.  I just stop texting or emailing when I think the conversation has concluded. Short---to the point.  I'm better with conversation when I'm in a counseling session. I suppose that because I talk for a living, I don't want to spend a lot of time doing it outside of work.

Wow! Those were some questions that I wasn't sure I wanted to answer.  Y'all are going to figure me out!  Ms. Erin

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Monday, February 21, 2011

Path of the Pearl----- Ms Erin's Journey (cont)

Mary Olsen Kelly uses the life of the pearl as a metaphor for human life. I like the way she designed the introspective exercises in the book, so I'm going to use them on my journey. 

PEARLS OF WISDOM: TO LOVE IS TO BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF

Nucleus

Do I balance my attention to my physical appearance with my attention to my inner qualities?  Not really. Not anymore. When I was younger, I thought physical appearance was more important. I worked out so much that it became unhealthy. I was obsessed with it. However, physical beauty I've never cared about. I've never worn much make-up, primarily because I'm too lazy to deal with that. The only time I care about dressing up is if there's a very, very special occasion. I do spend more time developing my inner qualities. Over the years, I've become more patient and more forgiving. I don't make a big deal out of things like I used to. I'm more at peace.

Do I judge myself now based on an earlier self-image I still hold in my mind?  
Sometimes. I think a lot about what I looked like in college. Back then was the time I was immature and unrealistic about a lot of things.  

Layering

What have I done to help myself to appreciate my positive qualities, physical and otherwise, in the same way that I appreciate those qualities in others?  Being around positive people helps me focus on appreciating my own attributes. I like to meditate, pray, and read self-discovery books. All of this helps me to keep a positive frame of mind with regards to myself and others.

Have I developed a strategy to boost my confidence when I need it? Could I perhaps focus on the parts of myself I always feel good about?  When I need confidence, I talk to one or two of my friends, or one of my siblings. I also focus on areas of my life where I've had success because those are achievements that can never be taken away.

Awareness and Beauty

Do I remember to demonstrate my self-love? How can I reward myself? What will make me feel special---a facial, a massage, a pedicure, an art class, a shopping spree?  Wow, now that's a loaded question! I do a whole lot to demonstrate my self-love! Lots and lots of ME-time. Sometimes it's a pedicure (because having nice feet is an absolute must), and sometimes it's buying myself something that I really want. If I don't love me, who will?? Lol!!

I'm very kind to myself, I'm free, I'm happy....Ms Erin

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Further Reflection from The Path of the Pearl

Nucleus

Have I ever used a personal experience as the starting place for creative expression, such as painting, or a piece of writing?

I've had a lot of experiences I life, negative and positive. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I love writing. I'm working on a book now (but not sure about having it published---it's a little risque, ha, ha). But seriously, I used to write short stories many years ago and had hundreds of them. I also used to paint and draw when I was in junior high and  high school. My writing reflects other parts of me sort of, possibly that are suppressed most of the time. It also allows me to go to other places, be around other people, do things that I can't, and have fun. It's another life. For example, I've always wanted to go to Ireland and Australia, so I try to incorporate that in a story some how. I know that I'm a reserved, introverted person, so my "heroines" are not. I don't paint anymore, but I give my brother the ideas for the paintings I want. I visualize what I want in writing and he's the artist. He's doing a series of female beauty for me. I have one called "Serena", which captures the essence of a woman peacefully sleeping. The second one is called, "Marina", which is my version of the "Birth of Venus". The next one I want to be a fiery red-head, who will represent either the goddess of light (Thea) or the arising dawn (Aurora).

Layering

Where was my creativity born? Did someone in my family influence me through his/her talents, or encourage me to develop mine?

There are quite a few talented, creative people in my family. My father is a very gifted writer and speaker. I remember when I was a child, the only reason I liked attending church was to hear him speak. It was so eloquent. Sometimes, I would even watch him prepare his speeches for the congregation. He always encouraged us to do well in school, especially in reading and writing. He teaches at a university now and is also writing a book. I have a cousin who writes poetry, one who is a clothing designer, an uncle who is a doctor, a brother who is a painter, a sister who plays three musical instruments, another brother who also plays music. Interestingly, all of us can sing too, parents included. Most of my extended family is talented (right-brained talent), but it's hard to list all of them. I don't know where it all came from except God; I'm thankful to Him for that.

Is there a creative field I have always been attracted to but never dared to try? Acting? Singing? Can I find and encouraging outlet for that energy?

Ha, ha, ha!! I've always dreamed/fantasized of singing jazz in a night club. I have an OK voice, but I'm too shy to sing or speak in front of people. Imagine that, I picked a career where I have to speak in front of people, but I'm too shy.

Awareness/Beauty

If life is a dance, what am I dancing? A tango? A waltz?

I would say that most of my life I've been dancing a Waltz because of the steps being taken forward, backward, side. Life goes in different directions. However, there's been a little Rumba and Samba in there!! As my happiness increases, my life is feeling more like the Quickstep and the Lindy Hop! I'm OK with that!

Which colors make me feel beautiful, strong, powerful, intelligent, and happy? how do I respond to color in art?

I'd say that royal blue is my beautiful color. Black is my color of intelligence and strength. Reds and purples feel powerful to me. Green and melon make me feel happy. When I see colors in art, that's what draws me, not the content of the painting. I especially like rich reds, sharp blues, and fiery oranges. I also like the absence of color---black and white, with the contrast of red. One painting I want to commission is two swans mating, one black and one white, with a muted blue/green backdrop. The two contrasting points of the painting will be the beaks of the swans (one red one yellow). Heavenly.

Ms. Erin

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Good vs. Evil

I had a debate today about the inherent goodness in people. It's always been one of my favorite arguments. Over the years, I've become influenced by education (philosophy, psychology, and science), and observations in the world around me. I've formed a rather complicated opinion.

Many people want to believe that people are born either good or evil. Or perhaps a little of both. Or perhaps the "Blank Slate" thing.

I think that people are instinctive creatures, just like animals, but they do have the capacity to think and reason as they mature. When humans are born, they do everything to avoid pain and gain pleasure. So does that make a human good or bad? As humans make this transition from infancy to adulthood (avoiding pain and seeking pleasure), they're selfish. The difference between infants, children, adolescents, and adults, is the level of selfishness. As one matures, ideally, he/she is able to relinquish some of his/her own pleasure and accept more pain for the sake of another. And of course, when this does not occur, we tend to label a person "sociopath". So is this behavior learned and observed? Yes. Is it a biological change? Yes. At which stage of development does it really happen? Many stages. Is it a bad thing to want pleasure with no pain? Absolutely not!

Actually, I think it's all a matter of perspective. That's what I like so much about science, philosophy, and psychology----there will always be a good debate! Ms Erin

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Identity of A Psychotherapist...continued

I saw this program once, called "Have A Different Spirit".  I found it interesting and humorous how Joel Osteen compared people to thermostats and thermometers. I would have never thought of that, but it's true. We've all heard of how negativity breeds more negativity, and how misery like company, and how if one has a poor self-efficacy, he/she will not do well in life.   

Well, I'm a firm believer in avoiding negative people, places, comments, etc.  I've grown tired of that in my life and found it to be depressing and non-productive. Even from Biblical times, people had challenges but were determined to overcome them, rather than wallow in misery and defeat.  Caleb and his descendants made it into the promised land because he had faith and determination;  Job was able to regain all of his wealth because of his spirit and faith; David defeated Goliath because he believed in himself, not the negative comments of his family.

I think that all of these people were thermostats; they were uplifting and positive----able to change the atmosphere around them, eventually becoming successful and becoming role models for others. I like that and I endeavor to be like that as I get older. It feels good inside to be a thermostat.  Set the tone.

Many folks are just the opposite; they're the thermometer-type. They don't have joy or victory to rub off on anyone else. They don't change anything in the atmosphere, they feed off what's in the room. They're addicted to and surrounded by chaos and drama, horror, helplessness, and fear.  Just writing all of that in a sentence makes me anxious!  I don't understand how people can live that way; complaining all the time,  focusing on the ugliness of life.  And then there are those who are attracted to the same groups of people who like all of this stuff.  I'm trying to imagine being in a room full of those people.  I think I'd become an alcoholic or have perpetual anxiety attacks!

Whew!!

Remember---Be happy , celebrate the life you were given.  Hang around others that feel the same way so that your joys and victories will be encouraged.  Ms. Erin

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Identity of A Psychotherapist---Revealed

As a psychotherapist, I encourage people to talk by means of what clinicians call "self- disclosure".  Based on that, and my own observations,  I evaluate mood, affect, judgment, thought processes/thought content, insight, etc. My blog will be an opportunity for people who don't know me to get to know "the real me".  It will be an opportunity for people to see the mind of a psychotherapist.  And so it begins....

What makes me smile? A walk on the beach; A hike in the woods; cuddling in a comforter with a cup of Starbucks white chocolate mocha on a cold winter day; watching Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry; having a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting; eating any kind of chocolate; lots of Me-time for meditation.

What makes me know I can trust someone? It takes a while before I trust people and it depends on why I need to trust them. If  people have qualities that are congruent with trust, such as honesty and commitment, then I have an easier time trusting.

What is the thing I fear most? That can be interpreted in a few ways. I'm afraid of spiders!

When I hear the word "completion" how do I feel? I don't feel anything. The word does not illicit feelings. I think of completion as the end of some process or project,  or goals that have been achieved. I've heard of the phrase people use, "you complete me".  I would not use the word "complete" in this circumstance.  A person should already be complete and not depend on someone else for completion. The idea suggests that there was something wrong, broken, or incomplete from the beginning.

Do I think it's more important to center my heart or defend my spiritDefending my spirit is more important to me. I'm a thinker. I'm not the emotional type.

What am I most proud of?  Graduating 3 times; high school and twice from college for 2 degrees. There were great challenges along the way but it was worth it. This will always be something no one can take from me.

What is more important, knowledge or imagination?  I don't believe there can be one without the other for success.

If I could help anyone succeed at one thing who would it be and in what way?  There is no one person in particular that I want to help succeed.  I want for all of the children and teens that I work with to climb mountains, sail seas, run countries; I want for all of them to live out their dreams.

A psychotherapist being revealed....Ms Erin

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Path of the Pearl----- Ms Erin's Journey

Wonderful book by Mary Olsen Kelly, where the author actively involves the reader in facing challenges of life by means of introspection. Each chapter ends with the Pearls of Wisdom. It is further dissected into reflective parts of the Pearl----the Nucleus, the Layering, and then the Awareness/Beauty.

Pearls of Wisdom:  The Smaller Vessel More Easily Overflows. In a tiny oyster, a small pearl will still look big. Put the same pearl in a large oyster, and it will appear to shrink. This also happens with our lives.

Nucleus: Was there ever a time in my life where I felt so insecure that I lost sight of the importance of loving and giving to others? Many times, probably hundreds!

Have you ever withheld love from yourself? Did something suddenly make you notice that you were needlessly punishing yourself? Of course, I've beat myself up about things in the past and held on to the belief that I deserved the self hatred. I've learned over the years that I don't deserve to be punished by anyone including myself. I love me too much to be punished.

Layering: Focus not on my physical size but on the size of my hopes, dreams, and goals. how big is my vision for my life? Huge but attainable. I don't think I'm grandiose, it's just based on the abilities I have and the determination to achieve.

How large is your passion for living and giving? How do others benefit from the capacity of your loving generosity? There have been times where there has been no luster in my life, but right now I love life. I find it full of ups and downs and challenges I want to tackle. I enjoy giving to others, especially those close to me. The profession I chose allows me to give people the unconditional positive regard and unjudgemental compassion they need during times of emotional crisis.

Awareness and Beauty: How big is my inner self? I guess that would depend on the definition of inner self. If it's the soul or the spiritual part of oneself, then I would say that mine is in a constant state of metamorphosis. I don't think anyone could expect to get through life without changing the inner self, anymore than one could without changing physically.

What are some examples in my life of important things and important people, that may have been either very small or very large? How significant was their size? I don't care much about superficial qualities in people, nor do I care much for superficial people in general. People who have had the most influence in my life have had these qualities that I find important: honesty,  a sense of justice, wisdom, success, trustworthiness, and loyalty.

This was my Pearl for the day!  Ms Erin

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Life is just too short to sweat the small stuff....!

Life is short; Break the rules! Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret ANYTHING that made you S-M-I-L-E:)