Sunday, April 24, 2011

Questions to ask in a relationship

Of course, all relationships are not the same. The questions in a new dating relationship are different than the questions you should ask in a serious relationship or a marriage. There are certain questions couples should ask themselves and discuss when planning the future. There are also vitally important questions you should ask yourself when entering a new relationship, or continuing with a difficult relationship.
I’ll include questions to ask before you married, questions to ask your new lover and questions you should ask yourself at various stages of a romantic relationship. I’ll put each set of relationship questions in their own category

Have your parents got along with your former boyfriend or girlfriend?
How do you get along with your parents?
Where do you eat your dinners? Dinner table? In front of television?
What are your health habits? Eating habits? Exercise habits?
How do you feel about my family?
What kind of relationship do you want the grandparents to have with our children?
How often do you want the in-laws to visit?
Are you interested in having children? When do you want to have children?
How will having children change our lives? What will we do on vacations?
How many children do you want to have?
Are you satisfied with the shared friends we have?
How much do you want to socialize?
Will you encourage our children to have hobbies? If so, what hobbies? If so, how will you approach this?
What are your friendship needs outside our relationship?
Who keeps your yard mowed and house cleaned?
How will our house be maintained? How do you want to split chores?
Will we have a television in our bedroom?
Do you like and/or respect my friends?

Money Questions You Should Ask in a Relationship – Career Questions

Once again, these are questions for a more serious relationship, but they aren’t bad to start bouncing around in conversations after you’ve been dating a little while. Some are more personal than others, but the reaction to such questions should tell a lot about your boyfriend/girlfriend, even if they don’t give a straight answer. Don’t ask too many of these at once, or else you’ll come off looking like you’re obsessed with finances. In fact, I would suggest you “let the game come to you”; that is, wait until he or she brings up the subject and then get a question or two in.

What would you do if you won a million dollar lottery prize?
Are you in debt?
Where do you want to spend your life?
What’s your dream job?
How do you see your life in 10 years?
How much money do you earn?
Do you want joint bank accounts? Why?
What are your financial goals? What’s your plan for reaching those goals?
How many hours do you work a week?
How ambitious do you consider yourself?
What is your debt situation?
What percentage of your income do you spend every payday?
What are your financial obligations?
If you or I were offered a lucrative job opportunity in some other region of the country, would you be prepared to move?

Questions You Should Ask in A Relationship – Faith Questions

To some people in a relationship, there’s no question more important than their new partner’s religious beliefs. You might care less about your life partner’s job or money, so long as he/she is a person of faith and has values or “high morals”.
Others might not be that spiritual or religious. Even then, these are important questions to ask in a relationship. If you see faith and religion as a waste of a good time, but your new boyfriend or girlfriend is deeply religious, you’ll have to deal with faith issues sooner or later. If you get serious about the relationship, the two of you are going to have to learn how to live with one another’s views. It might be better to know from the beginning your basic spiritual incompatibility.

How does your family spend its favorite holiday?
Do you consider yourself a spiritual person?
What are your religious views?
Do you share my religious views?
Do you attend church or have other religious commitments?
How serious is your family about its faith?

Sex and Romance Questions To Ask Your New Lover

There are any number of sexual questions you should ask in a relationship. We have a page or two about “sexual relationship questions”, but I wanted to include a few of the less intensive questions to ask your new lover. It may seem odd to follow up the religious questions with sex questions, but just about every romantic relationship is going to deal with intimacy and intimate questions at some point. These are some things you just need to know.

Could you describe your perfect mate?
Are you interested in a serious relationship?
Do you think I listen to you and consider your opinions?
Why did you break up with your last ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
Is there some activity you are not prepared to give up in a marriage?
How comfortable are you discussing sex?
Do you consider yourself affectionate?
How often do you want sex?
Have you always practiced safe sex?
Are you comfortable with these questions?

Health Questions You Should Ask Your Partner

There are several health-related questions you should ask in a relationship, too. When asking these questions, you should volunteer your own health information. That way, your new partner will feel the two of you are sharing information, or even talking about your common problems or concerns.

What is your health history? Your mental health history?
Do you have current health issues?
Do you have health insurance?

Questions Your Should Ask Yourself in a Relationship

Finally, you need to remember to ask yourself questions about your relationship. When you have “alone time”, you need to occasionally think about your current relationship and sort through your own feelings and opinions about it. Introspection and self-knowledge is important, not only when your relationship is having problems, but when you are deciding whether to take it to that next level. As the saying goes, know yourself.

Do we share common values?
Do I feel safe with this person? Am I comfortable expressing my feelings?
How does my partner treat other people?
Is there something about my boyfriend/girlfriend that I hope to change?
Do I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
What do I really want from this relationship?
Why do I want to be in this relationship?
Do I respect and like my partner?
Do the two of us laugh when we’re together? Do I enjoy my time with this person?

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Friday, April 22, 2011

Paying your Own Way---What's Wrong With That?

Calculate the average cost of a pack of cigarettes ($5.51) and multiply that times 30, assuming that a smoker smokes a pack a day: $165.00.

Calculate the average cost of one combo fast food meal ($4-$7). Multiply that times 30, assuming that a person only eats one fast food meal per day for a month: $120-$210.

Calculate the number of calories in the average fast food meal (550) and multiply that times 3, assuming that 550 is the number of calories you eat for each meal per day: 1650. This is not counting all the snacks, sodas, and extra meals during the day. It's not counting the amount of fat, salt, and sugar in each meal.

We already know that eating unhealthy foods and smoking contribute to poor health (type II diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, etc).

So my question is: Why should a healthy person pay the same amount for insurance premiums as an unhealthy person? I'm not talking about people who have legitimate, genetic health conditions. I'm talking about people who are deliberately taking risks. Why should any of these people qualify for Medicaid or any other public assistance when they can afford to smoke and eat out?

I believe that if a person is at a healthy weight, does not smoke, does not consume too much alcohol, and exercises regularly, he/she should have some sort of health care discounts. Those who are making themselves sick should pay their own way. Why should that be a burden on the tax payers?

I'm not professing to be a political expert, but there has to be a way to get this fixed. There are millions of people milking the system because that's what we allow. This goes for the Social Security Administration and Medicaid.

Call me selfish, but I don't want to pay for anyone except myself! I work hard, I make efforts to be healthy, and I pay taxes. I don't want to keep contributing to the SSI system for people who have these so-called "disabilities". I don't want to keep paying for unemployed and/or unhealthy people to be on Medicaid. I want to pay my own way and I expect for other people to do the same.

Ms. Erin

50 Introspection Questions

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Now that's a brain twister! I think I'd probably be between 25 and 30. That sounds like a good age. I believe that by the time i got to that age range there was a pretty good level of maturity and wisdom.
Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying is the worse. I don't mind failing when I realize that it's part of the success process. Failure has to happen for learning purposes. If a person is too afraid of failure, and therefore does not make an effort, what kind of life is that? I like challenge.
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Again, it's all about the learning process. For example, a lot of healthy foods may not be a delicious as a fat cheeseburger or a thick, greasy pizza with extra cheese. But when we want good health, we substitute the good stuff for hi fiber and low fat. And what if there's a lab report from the doctor saying that the cholesterol is high or the blood sugar levels are high? Again, if we use good reasoning and judgment, we opt for the oatmeal and soy milk. Regarding the latter part of the question, I believe that a lot of us don't do many things we like because we live in a fast paced world. There never seems to be enough time!
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Absolutely not. I set attainable goals and make every effort to meet them. I'm a doer, not a talker.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I'd like to make education the highest priority. If that's done, everything else will fall into place.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? I like what I do now---being a mental health provider.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I'm doing what I believe in for the most part. Regarding the level of pay, I'm settling. Not for long, though. That's what the PhD will take care of!
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I think I'd have more fun.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Perhaps 70-85%. The course my life has taken is primarily based on the decisions I've made (good and bad). Of course there are things that I have no control over, like natural disasters and world events. These things influence decisions.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I'm not worried about either. I like to make sure that what I do is correct. I also like to do the right thing according to my conscience. It depends on the situation.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I'll make a comment about how I don't want to be at a luncheon with a bunch of negative gossiping people. I hate gossip. I'll either do that or let that be my cue to leave.
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Get your education!
Would you break the law to save a loved one? If I'm saving the person's life, probably. There are laws that provide for extinuating circumstances. If it's just about saving someone from getting into trouble, no. That's on them and I want no part of it.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Interesting question for a person in the mental health field. There are times when I see behaviors that appear to be "crazy" but really it's about perspective. Most of the people diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorders fit into this catagory.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I know that I see people differently. For example, when others are judging, I'm evaluating and assessing.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? What makes me most happy is "me-time", time alone. There are a lot of people who fear being alone. I love it.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I want to run a half marathon and I want mt PhD. I'm in the process of doing both. I'm sure that as time goes on, there will be other challenges I want to tackle.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? I don't think so. Not anymore. What's the point? I'm happy now and I wouldn't be happy if I was still holding grudges.
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I think about moving to Vermont or one of the other New England states. It looks beautiful up there and the views up there seem less conservative than in Texas. I also would not mind living in Europe. People there seem so carefree. They slow down to enjoy life. Europeans also seem to be more libral than we are.
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? I've never thought about that. I only push it once and assume that it's working properly if the door closes. I have seen people impatiently jamming their finger into the button as if the destination will arrive sooner. It reminds me of when I'm driving and an idiot speeds around me, racing to a red light. What a putz!

The rest of the questions will be answered in other posts. Check out some of these books on introspection.







My favorite is

Are You a Good Communicator?

There are 4 types of communication: Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive.

You've heard of words like: manipulative, cynical, explosive, self-pitying, helpless, hostile, preachy, sarcastic, and condescending.

All of those words are they way we describe people we don't like, or how we describe types of communication.

PASSIVE communication self-pitying, self-punishing, inhibited, self-denying, retreating, unresponsive, helpless, and withdrawn, We describe these people as crying, apologetic doormats who have poor eye contact, and who give up like martyrs. These people typically defer to someone else, setting aside their own thoughts and feelings.

AGGRESSIVE communication pushy, rude, bossy, hostile, preachy, contemptuous, and mean. We describe these people as dominating, overbearing, thoughtless, inconsiderate bullies who invade, belittle, and threaten others. These folks only want the communication to go one-way.

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE communication resentful, bitter, malicious, indignant, phony, indirect, cynical, and two-faced. These individuals are manipulative, gossipy, devious, bullies who speak with double messages. They hide their intentions and mislead others in order to have control.

ASSERTIVE communication real, honest, well-bodied, appropriate, open, confident, and expressive. Assertive people openly express thoughts and feelings. They are able to flexibly explore and create alternatives. These folks understand the importance of personal rights withing all of their relationships.

So what kind of communicator are you? Check out some of these good books on communication.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Got Drugs?

Turn in your unused or expired medications for safe disposal.

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

Visit http://www.dea.gov/ or call 800-882-9539 to locate a site near you.

Remember: children are at risk. Prescription drug use amongst our youth is on the rise.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Jobs

http://www.workforcesolutionsalamo.org/news_eventscalendar/default.asp

Check out the job fairs

Great self-help books and CDs

Monday, April 11, 2011

Relaxation CDs

Dreamseed CD- Buy Now

Guitarra Classica CD - Buy Now

Beneath The Moon - Buy Now

Between Worlds CD - Buy Now

The Lotus Mind - Buy Now

The Return CD- Buy Now

Ascension CD - Buy Now

Dreamland CD - Buy Now

Convergence CD - Buy Now

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Syllabus/Course Outline for my 1st Two Classes