It Could Never Happen To Me, by Heather Seeman

SPECIAL EDITION AUGUST 2011 NEWSLETTER

Heidi Search Center

When it comes to things like child abduction, this has got to be one of the first things to run through the minds of the family. I’m sure my parents thought the same just before my family realized that no one knew where Heidi was. The first reaction of course is going to be vehement denial, a self-rationalization that there has to be another explanation. The panic a family member feels once comprehension sets in can be paralyzing, and as I have seen first-hand, assistance is definitely needed.

Learning that it can happen to anyone was a very difficult lesson at 13 years old. That one hot summer day, 21 years ago, stretched into an exhausting 21 days. It remains the most painful string of memories I carry with me.  Though I remember that time quite vividly, it is not my focus for today.

For the purposes of this article, I would like to focus on a little bit more of a hopeful topic. If nothing else, I sincerely hope that sharing the story of my journey home might at least bring some hope to those who are still suffering and wondering if the pain will ever subside. I cannot say that it ever disappears, but one can come to a point where they feel at least some semblance of peace after such tragedy. Right now, I’d like to devote my attention on the light that can shine through such tragedy, the awakening from a nightmare, and the idea that anything beneficial could emerge from such an abominable action.

I have recently moved back to San Antonio after an absence of nearly 17 years. After graduating from Florida State University about two years ago, moving back to San Antonio has been a frequently revisited option. It did take me quite some time to mentally prepare myself for the journey home and make sure I felt as if I had fully come to terms with moving back here. After cautious preparation the time came to move back.

I am not sure I was quite as prepared for the emotions and memories that would flood me both on the long drive as well as once here. It was just me and my dog pulling all of our possessions loaded in a trailer; I had an overabundance of time to really think about what I was doing. I went through an incredibly odd myriad of emotions from fear to sadness, and dread, slowly becoming excitement and the general peace I felt the closer I got to San Antonio.

I am pleasantly surprised that so many more fond memories so long forgotten keep resurfacing, especially with the re-acquaintance of old friends. Simple things like driving around awaken dreamlike memories: going to the movies with my friends, the time a friend of mine and I tried to tint our hair with Kool-Aide for a football game we never ended up going to, or getting lost downtown for hours and having a great time nonetheless. These are great memories I forgot about years ago, that I am more than happy to have regained.

On the other side, there are still the hard memories. The ones I wish I could forget. I do think the hardest was driving over to my old neighborhood, which took me over a month to go and do. To be honest, when I turned on Stahl Road from Judson I unconsciously took a deep breath and held it, feeling a bit shaky. I was momentarily overwhelmed with the incredibly vivid memory of Heidi, and unfortunately the memory of her tragic story.

Despite the more unpleasant memories, I still feel that moving back was the best decision for me and I am relieved to still feel this way. There is still a sense of excitement, mixed history and all. The reminder of the simple things I always loved about San Antonio makes the move worth it. Most of all, I am grateful to just be here. If nothing else good came out of what happened to Heidi, there is still the remembrance of the tremendous outpouring of assistance, prayers, sympathy and love from the entire city of San Antonio that surrounded my family through the horrific ordeal. This amazing unity of spirit and hope shown by the community during that time has forever been what made San Antonio the place I call home. It has been wonderful to come home.

The Heidi Search Center sprung from our tragedy, started by those people who were active in the search for my sister, and it continues to shine as a beacon of hope, providing the same care to thousands of families facing the same ordeal my family did 21 years ago. It warms my heart to know it is still going on, still in operation, and I am thankful not only to the people who volunteer their time and effort, but to those in the community that contribute enough to keep it going. They understand the need to change the idea "it could never happen to me" to "when it does happen there is hope" through education on prevention and accessibility to tools and resources available to those in need- things not available to my family at the time. Now after 21 years, I am looking forward to playing a more active role in the HSC and giving back to the community that reached out to my family in our most dire of hours.

Heidi Search Center, Inc. 4115 Naco Perrin Boulevard San Antonio, Texas 78217-2505 Office: (210)-650-0428 Fax: (210) 650-3653 Email: heidisearchcenter@yahoo.com www.heidisearchcenter.com

Kate Shields Executive Director