The Social Butterfly, cont.

I probably should become more of a social butterfly; but then it wouldn't really be me. Everyone would think something was wrong because it's just not me. Now that I've been looking over all of these questions, I'm realizing that I may be more social than I once thought....

What is an example of "small talk" that I've made about the weather, or a current event?  Well we live in South Texas, so there's always something to say about our weather (allergens, floods, excessive heat, hurricanes, tornadoes, and of course today---90-degree weather in February). Just a few weeks ago, we had snow! There's a lot of casual conversation related to "weather talk".  Current events pop up all the time too; I'm trying to steer away from anything with a political angle.

Let's say I'm having a conversation with someone I hardly know. They keep touching my arm and putting their face/body close to mine. How do I react?  Oh my goodness! This is one of my pet peeves. I must have my personal space. I can't stand it when people crowd me or touch me when we're talking (especially people I hardly know).  Since I've been a resident of South Texas for may years, I've learned that it's rather customary for people to do a lot of  hugging, touching, etc. when in conversation. It's taken me many years to get used to it, but I still don't care for it too much. I know that others can be offended if I show any signs of distress when they approach me. Actually, I think people should just be respectful of others' personal space regardless of culture, etc.

What do I like to do in the evening with friends?  I like to do things like sit and chit-chat at a cafe or someplace with drinks. I also like it when I'm invited over to a friend's house and there's a small gathering.  

Who is a friend or relative that energizes me? who is one that drains me?  All of my friends are energetic in their own ways, so when we're together, I'm  excited to be with them.  I won't go out if I don't want to be out. The draining thing----very funny! I don't allow people to drain me anymore because I know how to set boundaries. I avoid contact with people that I believe will suck the life out of me!

What are the least desirable qualities to have in a friend?  Neediness is probably the biggest turn-off.  I also can't stand when friends use me as a therapist. I've had to discontinue a few relationships because of this type of thing. It's kind of like a doctor friend thst you keep getting medical advice from, or a lawyer that you keep bothering about your legal problems. Well, I'm a therapist, so I conduct therapy in my office when I'm being paid to work. If I'm with friends, I want to be supportive and listen, but I do not want to feel like I'm at work.

Are there times when I just need to be by myself? When? What do I do?  Being alone is the most precious thing in the world to me! A great vacation for me is to spend several days at home alone. What do I do? Mainly veg, watch movies, drink wine, meditate, work-out a little just to keep my circulation going. I do some texting and I consider answering my phone. Now I have 2 phones----one for private calls (few people have the number), and the other phone that I ignore if I'm on "vacation".

Ms. Erin

Check out some of the best sellers on Amazon.com: