Wednesday, March 2, 2011

How To Deal With Difficult People, Pt II

OK, so we "discussed" two kinds of Difficult People, because those were the groups that I seem to have issues with (the Complainers and the Stallers).

There are several other types of Difficult People: the Bully, the Gossiper, the Fibber, the Competitor, the Know-it-All,  the Criticizer, and the Interrupter.

Since these others don't irritate me as much (according to the assessment that was done on me), I won't go into as much detail.

Basically a Difficult Person is someone who has some secret fear or insecurity.

A Bully is someone who will prevent progress in order to get his/her way. The secret fear/insecurity is weakness.

The Gossiper is the chatterbox who tells uninvited secrets, then passes your secrets to everyone else. The secret fear or insecurity is about his/her life not being very interesting.

The Fibber actually make up stories to be more interesting. The insecurity is about not being accepted or liked by others.

The Competitor wants everyone to know that he/she can do it better.  The insecurity is about not being good enough.

A Know-it-All corrects every part of your conversation. The secret fear is that he/she does not know everything.

The Interrupter is the person who cuts you off with each sentence. This person feels like no one is listening to him/her.

The Criticizer finds fault with everything. The secret of a Criticizer? "I'm not happy with myself and I don't want you to be happy either."

The Staller  cannot make up his/her mind about anything. The fear is about not wanting to be responsible.

A Complainer is the negative person. "I don't know how to feel in control".

Points to ponder about Difficult People:

  • If you understand where the person's behavior is coming from, it allows you to change your whole attitude and your behavior towards him/her. Don't react the way the person expects you to react.
  • Don't hold grudges; the focuse should be on moving forward, not lingering on past offenses.
  • Listen to the person; treat him/her with respect. These folks already think that no one pays them any attention.
  • Use the opportunities as personal development exercises, or self-improvement lessons.

   
















Ms. Erin

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