Relationships, Pt IV (Assessment)

So far, I've talked about relationships and birth order, the Triangular Theory of Love, and Couple Types. This section will be some of the actual assessment questions used in session. Perhaps you can think about some of these as they relate to you and your relationship!

1. Of course, a counselor wants to know what the couple's goals are for therapy. Do both parties have the same end game? (Do they both want to reconcile, or does one person want to break up?)
2. We do ask about the history of the relationship, and about the type of relationship parents had.
3. We ask each party what he/she likes about the partner. Also, what they least like.
4. The strengths of the relationship are discussed, along with shared values.
5. The weaknesses or deficits are discussed, along with specific changes that each party wants the other to make.

Some of the topics that come up in the sessions are:

• Career/educational goals
• FINANCES!
• relationships with in-laws
• parenting
• circle of friends
• hobbies and interests
• mental health, physical health and fitness
• housing/living arrangements
• short-term and long-term goals for the relationship and for self
• personal values (various)

I usually give reading assignments and written assignments so that we can have something to talk about in the sessions. I also like to have the couple face each other to read questions/responses to each other (I observe and only intervene when needed). Believe it or not, people learn a lot of new things about each other!

Ms. Erin