Thursday, March 31, 2011

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/NCAA-Championship-Game-Watch-party---April-4th-at-Fatso-s-North.html?soid=1103583107116&aid=pC_loOuqwPs

BASKETBALL FANS!!! http://myemail.constantcontact.com/NCAA-Championship-Game-Watch-party---April-4th-at-Fatso-s-North.html?soid=1103583107116&aid=pC_loOuqwPs

Monday, March 28, 2011

Speaking English

I know that this post may be sensitive to some people. We all have opinions and should respect (not neccesarily agree with) others' ideas.

Immigration to our country is a major source of population growth here.  The whole topic of immigration tends to cause controversy. For example, immigration and learning English.

I've always had a strong opinion about immigrants coming to the United States and not learning English. If people are coming here to live the American Dream, then people should speak English. Simple.

It does't matter what country a person is coming from, learning English, learning the laws, and learning US history, should be required within about two years of entering the country. This should be enforced on all levels of government.

People who have not completed the program should not have the same benefits or special considerations as someone who has become a citizen. The ability to gain access to state/federal resources, well, that should be the incentive.

It seems like the immigration laws already have some of this outlined, but it's not being enforced. So what good does it do to have the law if it's not going to be enforced?

I've met some truly inspiring immigrant families (some from the Ukraine, a couple from Africa, and a family from Korea).  Almost all of them spoke English before coming to the U.S. Those who didn't, learned it upon arrival. Most of the people I know came to America to enhance their ability to make their dreams come true. Like so many centuries ago, people from other countries still come here for the 'American Dream'.

Some of them came here to further education. Some came because of civil unrest in their country. Some came to start businesses. Regardless of why they came, these amazing people started with nothing and have achieved more than they expected to. While they do still hold on to their own cultural standards, they are certainly proud to be American Citizens.  I'm proud of them too.

It disturbs me when I'm approached by someone and asked if I speak Spanish. My immediate thoughts are, 'Why don't you speak English? Why do I have to accommodate you?' I can't imagine going to another country and rudely asking a native if he/she speaks English! I won't travel to another country without learning some of the language and learning about the culture. I most certainly would never permanantly move to another country without becoming a citizen. I'd have an interest in belonging and making my life easier to succeed.

I know that sounds mean, and there's no intent to hurt anyone's feelings. But think about it: If I have to learn Spanish (or any other language), the cost of that comes out of my pocket. It would take up time and energy that I don't have. Why would I do that to myself? I live in an English-speaking country.

I don't think foreign language should be a requirement in high school or college. It should just be an elective----we should have a wide array of choices (French, Chinese, German, Arabic, Spanish, Japanese, etc.). When counselors and advisors see kids about their semester schedules, there should already be some sort of career plan. By the time a student gets to high school, most of the classes should be geared towards a career of interest. We need to get rid of the 'cookie cutter' curriculum anyway. 

Just being honest! Ms. Erin

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Behavior Modification

If you've had any psychology, you'll recall the one simple concept that dictates the way we behave, and the way we get other people to behave. Behavior Modification. It's now a recognized type of therapy, but anyone can do it. We actually do it everyday and don't realize it.

Behavior Modification is the systematic application of what has been learned by an individual, and facilitation of the behavior you want. This includes reinforcement to obtain desired behavior, and extinction of unwanted behaviors.

Behavior works best when the person who needs to make the changes actually agrees, and when he/she assist with the development of goals. However, the technique can still be applied even if the individual has not agreed.

For example,  in the education system, elementary teachers state what the classroom procedures and rules are, then they reinforce the students' good behaviors with stickers, toys, special privileges, etc. When the students break rules (engage in negative behavior), the teacher does not give stickers, toys, or special privileges. The students learn that if they want the "rewards", they must behave according to the rules.

Sometimes punishment is used to get certain behaviors. This is when positive reinforcers are removed (like recess, free time, other privileges).  

How else can this technique be applied? I think of relationships. I also think of the book by Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages. In the book, he theorizes that people have certain "love languages". These are Acts of Service, Giving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation. When one partner engages in behaviors that are favorable to the other person (speak his/her love language), the original party will get what he/she wants (his/her own love language).

Example, if Susan really wants Quality Time from Ray (because that's her love language), she may try Words of Affirmation, which is Ray's love language. It's reciprocal.

I also think about everyday situations, like a desire to have children or adults act a certain way, so we would reinforce the behaviors we wanted. Negative behaviors can be ignored (which would be a negative reinforcement---something removed----the positive reinforcement is removed). By ignoring behavior, we would still get the behaviors we want, typically.

If I see a child having a tantrum, kicking, screaming, and cursing, the best thing for me to do is to step right over him/her and ignore the behavior. When the child behaves well at dinner time by eating his/her veggies and clearing the plate from the table, the parent should reinforce the positive behaviors by using words of affirmation during all of dinner (thank you, please, etc.).

I've simplified the concept of behavior modification. There are definitely more elements to it (generalized reinforcers, back-up reinforcers, etc.). There's also the concept of Cognitive Behavior Modification. I won't get into that during this post; but please note that one of the primary types of therapy is cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Read up on it. Here are some books (besides college text books) on the subject.

Ms. Erin


                                                                                     
















                                                                                                            

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Posters, Art, etc. from Allposters.com

I get stuff from Allposters.com all the time. I've even gotten a famous painting (it's a framed poster but it looks awesome! I also like the M. C. Escher optical illusions. Check out some of the posters, art, t-shirts, etc.

                                                                                                                                                                  















                                                                                                              















                                                                                                                                                                   
















                                                                                                              

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Games for kids/teens

Here are some great  games and resources for kids, to help them cope with various issues (bullying, divorce, anger, social skills, etc.:
                                                                                                        
                                    














                                                                                                                        

                      












                                                                                                                                                          
 














                                                                                                                                                   
















                                                                                                                                                        















I use some of these in counseling and sometimes, these games are just fun to play with kids/teens! Check them out.

Ms. Erin

Monday, March 21, 2011

"If I'm Perfect, No One Will Reject Me" - Healing Perfectionism

Here's another article from the Self-Growth website. It hit-the-spot, so to speak; you see, I'm a perfectionist. Not as much as I used to be, though. I've learned over the years how trying to be perfect is incredibly stressful. I also discovered that I'm happier being IMPERFECT. Life should not be treated like a competition. Life is a journey, and on that journey IMPERFECTION just makes everything more interesting:)

Dr. Margaret Paul summed it all up in her article. She begins:


Do you believe that being "perfect" gives you control over how people feel about you?"
If you do, then you are coming from 3 big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness.

False Belief #1

"I can have control over how people feel about me."
Think for a moment whether or not others have control over how you feel about them. Can someone do everything "right" and be "perfect" in their own eyes, yet you don't enjoy being around them or you don't feel connected with them?
Of course!
Others may influence how you feel about them, but they have no control over how you feel about them. If you are a basically accepting person, then you might like them even if they get angry or withdrawn. If you are generally a judgmental person, then there may be little they can do for you to like them.
Now turn this around regarding how others feel about you. Since you have no control over whether or not another person is accepting or judgmental, it stands to reason that you also have no control over how they feel about you, regardless of how perfectly loving, open, caring, giving, understanding, handsome, beautiful, or rich you are.

False Belief #2

"There is a standard of perfectionism and I can reach it."
I grew up believing that there was a "right" and "perfect" way to be. Then I learned that what I thought was right and perfect was not necessarily what others thought was right and perfect. In fact, it seemed that each person had a completely different understanding of what it means to be perfect!
This was quite distressing to me, as it took away my illusion of control over how people felt about me. At that time many years ago, I was terrified of rejection, so it gave me great comfort to believe that if only I was perfect enough, then I would never be rejected. Without a standard of perfection, what would be my guiding light to feel safe?

False Belief #3

"I am basically flawed and need to strive to cover up my flaws and appear to be better than I am."
As long as I believed that I was basically flawed in some way, I was afraid of rejection. When I learned how to connect with my spiritual Guidance and see myself through the eyes of truth rather than through the eyes of my parents and others, I was able to see that my soul essence - my core Self - is already perfect, a perfect individualized expression of the Divine.
What was flawed were my beliefs that were programmed into me and needed to be healed.

Healing Perfectionism

Imagine how life would be for you if you knew that you were already perfectly wonderful and incredible just the way you are in your true Self? What if you could separate out the flawed, wounded, programmed part of you - the part you created to help you survive pain - from the magnificent part of you that God created. What if you could see that your ego wounded self - with all your fears and protections and ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain - is NOT who you are.
Then, instead of perfectionism being your guiding light, being fully and passionately yourself becomes your guiding light!
I assure you, this is a MUCH easier way to live!
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., the http://www.selfgrowth.com/ Official Guide to Relationship Advice, is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Visit our website for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

So what do you think? Are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to be perfect? Or would you prefer to live an easier, happier life? I already know what I've chosen! No more color-coding and organizing my closet. And, yes, I sometimes leave the bed unmade. I've lightened up a little and I feel great! This is the real me....

Ms. Erin

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Relationships, Pt IV (Assessment)

So far, I've talked about relationships and birth order, the Triangular Theory of Love, and Couple Types. This section will be some of the actual assessment questions used in session. Perhaps you can think about some of these as they relate to you and your relationship!

  1. Of course, a counselor wants to know what the couple's goals are for therapy. Do both parties have the same end game? (Do they both want to reconcile, or does one person want to break up?)
  2. We do ask about the history of the relationship, and about the type of relationship parents had.
  3. We ask each party what he/she likes about the partner. Also, what they least like.
  4. The strengths of the relationship are discussed, along with shared values.
  5. The weaknesses or deficits are discussed, along with specific changes that each party wants the other to make.
Some of the topics that come up in the sessions are:

  • Career/educational goals
  • FINANCES!
  • relationships with in-laws
  • parenting
  • circle of friends
  • hobbies and interests
  • mental health, physical health and fitness
  • housing/living arrangements
  • short-term and long-term goals for the relationship and for self
  • personal values (various)
I usually give reading assignments and written assignments so that we can have something to talk about in the sessions. I also like to have the couple face each other to read questions/responses to each other (I observe and only intervene when needed). Believe it or not, people learn a lot of new things about each other!

Ms. Erin

                                                                                                                                                            
















                                                                                                                                  
















                                                                                                             

Internet Counseling, Pt II

OK, I've provided the basic information on Technology-Assisted Distance Counseling---Internet Counseling.

What is the Internet Counseling Relationship? Well, this has to do with the counselor making certain that the client(s) understand the do's and don'ts, or general expectations of Internet Counseling.  Procedures, so to speak.

  • The counselor has procedures for making contact with him/her, while off-line.
  • There are steps taken to verify the identity of the client(s).
  • If minors are involved, the identity of the consenting guardian is verified. (I will not do Internet counseling with anyone under the age of 18).
  • Counselors have an obligation to make the site accessible to persons with disabilities (as much as possible).
  • There should be client access to a local,  face-to-face mental health professional just in case of crisis intervention.
  • The counselor is aware that some clients speak other languages, live in other time zones, and may have unique cultures.
  • The possibility of technology failure should be explained, as well as the possibility that misunderstandings can occur when visual cues are not present (on camera).
  • All financial policies should be clear to clients, including whether or not private insurance is accepted (insurance companies do not generally cover this service).
What about Confidentiality?

Clients should be aware of encryption methods used to insure security of all communications. There are hazards, such as unauthorized monitoring of transmissions. That goes without saying! These days, anyone can hack into a computer. Counselors should have a method of maintaining session data, such as emails, etc.  Counselors also follow appropriate procedures regarding the release and sharing of information. We do have to abide by H.I.P.A.A (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (1996). The bottom line is that we do everything possible to insure the confidentiality of the Internet counseling relationship.

And finally, the Legal Considerations, Licensure, and Certification. Internet counselors must be fully aware of all pertinent codes of ethics. They must review the local, state, national memberships and organizations related to ethics. There should also be listed websites of all appropriate certifying bodies, as well as consumer protection entities.

Well that's it! Some of the entities that will have additional information are:


http://www.hipaa.org/    H.I.P.A.A.

http://www.nbcc.org/   National Board for Certified Counselors

http://www.cce-global.org/    Center for Credentialing and Education

http://www.counseling.org/   American Counseling Association

http://www.apa.org/   American Psychological Association

http://www.ismho.org/   International Society of Mental Health

Ms. Erin

My Weight Loss Journey

OK, so I just disclosed that I'm on a weight loss program (lost 33 pounds since the beginning of February 2011). When all of this began, all I wanted to have was a registered dietitian and an exercise regimen. But guess what? My insurance would not cover any of that! Can You believe it? So, I surfed the web and discovered that my insurance company DID cover any form of gastric surgery combined with a dietary and education program. Drastic, right?

The 3 types of gastric surgery (there may be more). I had the gastric sleeve, where 75% of my stomach was removed. Yep, that's right---75%!!  Now my stomach looks like a small banana.

I've gradually increased my range of foods. The first week was clear liquid (sugar-free jello, broth, waters, and sugar-free popcicles). Delicious, right? Believe me, for the first couple of days, I didn't even want that. However it is ESSENTIAL to het fluids in the body, at least 64 ounces per day. I didn't realize how hard that would be with a small stomach!

I cannot drink fluids before, during or after meals because fluids fill up my stomach. I eat tiny meals about 4-5 times a day, and I have to get about 60 grams of protein per day. That's hard too, considering that I can only put a couple of ounces of food in my stomach. I drink fluids all day and I take vitamins (and will for the rest of my life). I'm at the stage where I'm sort of experimenting with foods that I used to be able to eat. These are the foods that bother me now:

  • fresh veggies (can only eat well cooked along with protein)
  • fried foods
  • a lot of sweets (makes me experience diabetes symptoms--frequent urination, thirst, dizziness)
  • fast food because of the artificial stuff, fat, etc.
  • alcohol (boo hoo); I can now consume a few sips of wine and I feel tipsy (remember, the alcohol goes straight to the bloodstream now)
  • beef is a little difficult to swallow/digest
  • spicy food cause indigestion---bad
  • starches, breads without protein does the same thing as sweets

When/if I happen to drink fluids before or during meals, or if my stomach gets too full, I vomit (really it's like a baby spitting up)


What I eat a lot of now:

  • yogurt
  • string cheese
  • eggs (Eggland's Best)
  • all types of fish and seafood
  • chicken
  • cooked veggies (I love mixed greens)
  • all types of beans
  • shredded wheat
  • hi protein low fat milk (Mootopia0
  • water, water, water
  • green tea, oolong tea, mint tea, and other herbal teas
  • almonds with meals
  • snack crackers with my tuna or chicken salad

Things I eat but not a lot of:

  • hot cereal
  • fruits
  • hi protein bread
  • sausage
  • peanut butter (with crackers only)
  • French toast (hi protein bread and Eggland's Best eggs)
  • coffee with, of course half-n-half and no sugar

My exercise includes some walking, infrequent Tae Bo, boxing with my bean bag, yoga.

You know what my favorite channel is now? The Food Network. Maybe I'm just torturing myself! Lol!

Check this out: I no longer take medications for migraines or for hi blood pressure. I don't take anything at all, except the vitamins. I feel great! I pay close attention to food labels, and I read all kinds of books on vitamins/minerals. I'm trying to use organic foods when possible. I've never liked or been able to tolerate artificial sweeteners, so I use organic raw sugar or Truvia. Both are VERY expensive.

So, what are the other positives? I'll be a cheap date from now on!! All I have to do now is eat a few spoons off someone else's plate! I can't really drink anymore. 

If you ever decide to do this, remember you'll have to "diet" before the surgery to make sure you can settle into your new lifestyle. I had mine done at NE Baptist at the Texas Center for Medical/Surgical Weight Loss. Their site is http://www.texasbariatric.com/  I think it's a good investment. All I paid was the doctor/surgeon fee (about $300), and I now have my 20% of the hospital bill which is around $1200. Not bad at all!  I have to have lab work every month or so and I have support groups available every month.

So what do you think?

Ms. Erin

Friday, March 18, 2011

Internet Counseling, Pt I

Technology  is now part of mental health. Traditional counseling (individual, couple, and group) has been available in a face-to-face format. 

Counseling is the application of mental health, psychological, or human development principles, through cognitive, affective, behavioral, or systemic intervention strategies. Counseling addresses personal growth, career development, wellness, and pathology. Face-to-face counseling involves interaction between clients and counselors in person.

The following are called Technology-Assisted Distance Counseling:

  1. Telecounseling involves synchronous distance interaction between counselor and client (s).  Conferencing features on the telephone are typically used for individual, couples, or groups.
  2. Internet Counseling involves synchronous and asynchronous distance interaction between counselor and client(s). Email, chat, and videoconferencing are used via the Internet.
             a) Chat-based Internet counseling (individual, couple, and group) involves synchronous distance interaction between client and counselor using text.
             b) Video-based Internet counseling (individual, couple, and group) involves the same type of interaction, but video is used to communicate, i.e., Skype.

What are the ethical standards for the practicing Internet counseling?

Although therapists adhere to principals in traditional ethical codes, Internet counseling has standards based upon ethical principals embodied in the NBCC Code of Ethics. 

Of course, we know that technology is always changing or being upgraded. This means that mental health professionals must pay close attention to the most recent version of the NBCC code of Ethics. 

In the next Blog entry (Pt. II), the following will be addresses with regards to Internet Counseling:

  • Internet Counseling Relationship
  • Confidentiality in Internet Counseling
  • Legal Considerations, Licensure, and Certification

For information, go to the website for the National Board for Certified Counselors at http://www.nbcc.org/ or the Center for Credentialing and Education, Inc. at http://www.cce-global.org/

Ms. Erin

                                                                                                          
















Thursday, March 17, 2011

Article on FEAR, by Wambui Bahati

This was an incredibly insightful article by Wambui Bahati. I wish that I could get more of the articles on the Self-Growth site to my Blog. I liked this article because in my profession I find that fear and anxiety are quite prevelant. I find it challenging to come up with treatment plans/interventions for them. When I work with people, we discuss how Fear and Anxiety can be overcome if we change out irrational thoughts to more productive ones. If we focus on the positives, for example, focus on the actions we can take to actually CHANGE the situation we're in, then whatever is causing the fear no longer has a hold of us; we are able to feel more empowered. 

I've also noticed that when groups of fearful, anxious people start associating with each other, and they become obsessed with the negativsm around them, it just breeds more fear. I see this often on some of the social networks and on the news. Now, when I look at posts and listen to news broadcasts, I ask myself, 'What was the purpose of the negative comments? Were the comments meant to be informative? Or were the comments meant to incite FEAR and ANXIETY?'

In addition to the philosophy of Mr. Bahati, I always recommend that people pay close attention to associations and use caution when watching the news.

This is what he wrote:

"I recently received an email that prompted me to answer a poll about what I feared most. I didn't reply to the email because my biggest fear at that moment was the fear of receiving more unsolicited email. However, I did start thinking about the subject of fear. What are we afraid of? What is fear? What can we do about it?


A Powerful Emotion

"Fear is an emotion and the symptoms of this emotion manifest in each of us in various ways. Some of the symptoms of fear are shallow breathing, sweaty palms, upset stomach, nervousness, headache, inability to speak, inability to think clearly, depression, uncontrollable shaking, inability to moved, and anger. People literally lose their lives and have been known to take someone else's life out of fear. All of the "isms" are the children of fear -- racism, chauvinism, classism, sexism. Wars and crime thrive on fear.
Fear takes away our creativity, imagination, freedom and peace. Fear stops us from pursuing our dreams. Fear destroys relationships and can make us physically ill.


These four letters, F E A R, represent the most powerful negative emotion that exists.

"And just think, we have all this unhappiness and suffering over something that does not even exist except for the meaning or perception that we give to a person, place, thing or event. Our fears only live because each of us gives our own fears life. The fears we have exist because we nurture them, feed them, and acknowledge them.

Our Past Stories and Imaginations

"In other words, our fears are based on our individual perceptions, and our perceptions are based on our individual stories or histories and our imaginations.

"How else can we explain the fact that each of us has different fears and fears to different degrees? For instance, there are many people who love dogs. However, there are also people who fear dogs. Some love snakes and have them as pets. Yet, many others are extremely afraid of snakes and become traumatized at the mere sight of them.

"Most of the time, we are not even aware of the stories that our fears are based on. Some of us have anxiety attacks and are fearful over a comment that another child made to us when we were small. In other words, we let a child from our past control our life and health today.

Release the Fear

"In order to release the fear, we must change our perceptions about a person, event or object. Choose to see it for what it is -- a person, an event or an object. Many of us fear things that have not happened and may never happen. We cannot enjoy our lives today because we are fearful of what the future may hold. We can choose to release ourselves from the hold that our past stories and our imaginations have on us.

"If you are totally immobilized by fear of something, you can always seek assistance from techniques such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), or hypnotherapy. I encourage you to explore the options each of these techniques provide. Each of them, using their own methods, de-traumatizes past traumas and identify and integrate conflicting belief systems that keep us from doing things we want to do.

"In my experience, these types of procedures can bring about relief from fears quickly. Instead of treating the symptoms, as medications do, these techniques and other similar procedures address the cause of the fear.

A Signal for Change

"The positive aspect of fear is that it is a signal for change. If someone were to point a gun at us, in the midst of fear, we would hope that something would change for the better. Hopefully, we would think of some way to change the situation without being harmed. When faced with the fear of the possibility of a child being harmed, parents have found physical strength and mental courage that they did not know was possible.

"And so it is with our everyday fears. Let fear be a signal to change or move in a new direction. Move beyond your comfort zone. Perhaps we need more knowledge about the person, place, or thing that is causing us to feel fearful. Most importantly, move toward love. Love yourself. Love everyone and everything. Love is the most powerful emotion. Where there is real love, fear will perish.

We Are More Powerful than Fear

"In my opinion, failure to remember who we are in relation to God and this great Universe is the number one cause of fear. Where there is no faith, there is fear. The absence of belief in ourselves and what we are capable of creates doubt and fear.

"Yes, there will be tragedies. No, things will not always go as you planned. Yes, there will be people who want to say negative things about you. These people would rather comment on what appear to be your flaws rather than deal with their own. Do not give them your power.

"None of us are ordinary human beings. All of us are extraordinary divine beings. Everyone has the power that will not fail, should it be acknowledged and embraced. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this. I say, 'Fear, be gone. You have no power here.' Just by saying these words, it is as if I turn on a light and I see fear for what it really is -- nothing."

** To comment on this article or read comments about this article, go here. http://www.self-growth.com/

About the Author:
Wambui Bahati has enjoyed entertaining and empowering others for more than 40 years as an actress, author, speaker and 'holistic mental health' and 'empowerment over domestic violence' advocate. She is a life coach who incorporates EFT.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Best Sellers on Amazon.com

                                                                                                                                                  















                                                                                                                           
                                 














                                                                                      
                                                            















                                                                              
                          

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Depression

What are the symtoms of Depression? According to the DSM-IV, 5 or more the following must be present (during the same 2-week period) to classify as a Major Depressive Episode:

  • depressed mood almost all the time; feeling sad, empty; crying spells
  • children and teens may express irritability
  • diminished interest in hobbies and usual activities
  • significant weight changes (gain or loss) at least 5% of body weight; appetite changes (increased or decreased)
  • insomnia or hypersomnia
  • psychomotor agitation or retardation (noticed by others)
  • fatigue/loss of energy
  • feelings of worthlessness, and inappropriate guilt
  • diminished ability to concentrate or make decisions (also can be noticed by others)
  • any recurrent thoughts of death; suicidal ideation may or may not be accompanied by a plan or attempt
  • NOTE: the symptoms are not part of a Mixed Episode; the symptoms cause significant distress or impairment in daily functions; the symptoms cannot be caused by drug abuse or a medical condition; the symptoms are not due to grief/loss
What are the interventions?

• Develop and practice healthy stress management skills
• Develop and practice healthy problem-solving and communication skills
(Including how to effectively negotiate and compromise)
• Develop and practice healthy ways to monitor and control your impulses
• Identify the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
• Identify and replace cognitive distortions/thinking errors and negative self-talk
• Develop and practice a routine of physical exercise, activity, and social involvement• Rule out medical disorders
• Identify, verbalize, and address any unresolved grief or loss issues
• Acknowledge the presence of any self-harm thoughts or suicidal thoughts and develop a
personal safety plan to avoid acting on them
• Participate in a psychiatric evaluation and take all prescribed medications as instructed
• Rule out other psychiatric disorders
• Rule out depression-inducing medications
• Rule out substance abuse, including alcohol

Take a look at some of the material on Depression; I always have clients reading and/or doing assignments as part of the treatment plan.

Ms. Erin
                                                                                                                            

Cognitive Dissonance (What?!?!)

The concept of Cognitive Dissonance was one of the most fascinating topics in Undergraduate Psychology. The words look complicated, but the theory is simple---It's when a person feels uncomfortable due to having conflicting ideas in his/her head at the same time. When this happens, one must change his/her thoughts and actions in order to reach a state of Cognitive Equilibrium.

If anyone remembers anything about basic Psychology, you'll definitely recall Piaget's theories. According to Piaget, all organisms strive for equilibrium (balance) within themselves and the environment.  A being reaches equilibrium as he/she moves towards desired goals.

What are some examples and how is equilibrium achieved?

The best example of Cognitive Dissonance is smoking. People have an innate desire to live long, healthy lives; however, a smoker is engaging in a behavior that has been proven to cause health issues, and essentially shorten life. In order to feel comfortable with the behavior, people do one of three things:

  • stop smoking
  • discount the scientific evidence connected with smoking ( belief that "It's not true")
  • create congnitive distortions or thinking errors, like justifying why he/she smokes, or making excuses for it
Another example (one that I see frequently in my practice) is one's desire to have financial security, but being partnered with someone who has no concept of that.

What are the options (to reduce the discomfort)?

  • leave the relationship
  • focus on the positives in the relationship, rather than the fact that the partner has financial instability
A third example is the concept of religion. Each follower firmily believes in his her version of the truth; when another view is presented, this causes discomfort.

The options to reduce the discomfort (dissonance)?

  • leave the religion or change views
  • discount any information from the other religion about "the truth"
  • keep "sinning" and accept that everyone has an opinion!
In all of these examples, the person wants to feel at ease, so thoughts, beliefs, and actions have to occur in order to create comfort. 

Ms. Erin

Here are some books on the topic (besides a basic Psychology textbook):

                                                                                                                     

Sunday, March 13, 2011

More Info on Child Mental Health

Here are some tips on Behavior Modification. Dr. Ronald Receveur wrote this on his website for ADHD, however I use most of them regardless of the child's diagnosis (if there are behaviors that need to be modified). I provide a lot of information for parents on Behavior Modification, so that these techniques can be implemented in the home. Keep in mind, schools also use Behavior Modification.



Get Crystal Clear. Avoid murky rules that will only confuse your child or tempt continual testing of the rules. State your expectations clearly and in detail. Post them around the house.
Capture your Child's Interest by allowing them to have input.
Focus on the Positive. Do not dwell on unwanted behaviors. Praise your child for doing something well at least five times as often as you criticize unwanted behaviors.
Remember our children are like sponges. What you focus on influences what their focus is. Focus on the positive!!!
Develop a Daily Routine for school days and another one for weekends and holidays. Post the schedule around the house. Don't over-schedule. Allow for free time. But behavior management experts advise having set times for homework, chores, etc.
Practice Patience when asking your child to demonstrate the same behavior elsewhere that was accomplished at home. Children with ADHD often struggle to transfer what they've learned from setting to setting.
Drop Nagging and Sermonizing. No one likes to be nagged or lectured, and this is a sure fire way to shut down your ADHD child's attention. Instead use your behavior management visuals such as the chart and posted rules - and when you must give reminders, keep them short and sweet (or firm as the case may be).
This isn't to say that you should never instruct your child or remind your child of a rule or something that needs done. The behavior management chart is to help your child develop target behaviors, but you will still want to keep boundaries and rules in your home. Even when you are instructing, avoid sermonizing and lecturing. Keep communication open!
These simple tips can really help with the behavior management of your ADHD child, but if you're finding they seem to make no difference then you might try combining them with a natural, homeopathic remedy. MoodCalm is designed to create a balanced mood in your child which could be just the thing that you need to help make these tips more effective.

Dr. Ronald Receveur 
www.ADDMoms.net

Many parents don't want psychotropic medications prescribed for their kids; as a clinician, I think that's a last resort! Here are some CDs by Hemi-Sync that can be helpful:


                                                                                                   















Ms. Erin